Old Wives Tales In Pregnancy: Accurate Or No

The "WTF is wrong with my child's face?" side-by-side comparison. Isn't the little peanut cute though?
The “WTF is wrong with my child’s face?” side-by-side comparison. Isn’t the little peanut cute though? (The one on the left. Not the horror on the right.)

Baby sex, man. It’s a tough thing to wait on. I considered getting NIPT done, until I realized that it would cost me like, $350 out of pocket. And given the fact that my main motivation for doing it was to find out what I could expect in regards to my child’s genitalia — well, I decided it wasn’t worth it.

Instead, I relied heavily on the old wives’ tales to carry me through to my anatomy scan at 20 weeks. (Actually, as you’ll see from the photo above, I did an elective ultrasound about a week before the anatomy scan, with another pregnant friend, and found out early. The 3D images were terrifying, by the way. You can’t unsee them.)

So what am I having? And how does that compare to the old wives’ tales? Hold on to your britches. I’m going to make you work for this.

The Wedding Ring On A String Trick

What it is: Dangle your wedding ring over your belly with a string (or, in my case, your necklace chain) and “allow it to move without interfering with the motion.” If it goes side-to-side like a pendulum, you’re having a boy. If it moves in a circle, you’re having a boy.

The verdict for me: Girl. I guess? I mean, it was sort of hard to tell.

The Baking Soda/Pee Trick

What it is: Pee into a cup of baking soda. If it fizzes, you’re having a boy. If it stays flat, you’re having a girl.

The verdict for me: Girl. Yes, I actually peed into a cup of baking soda. I’m ashamed.

Chinese Gender Chart

What it is: A random chart telling you what you’re having based on age at conception and month of conception.

The verdict for me: Girl…except, boy when you account for my Chinese-calendar age. But maybe the month is messed up with that too, I’m not sure.

Mayan Gender “Chart”

What it is: First of all, while it’s a chart, it’s also a calculation. You take your age at time of conception + the number of the month of conception and add them together. If the number is even, you’re having a girl. If the number is odd, you’re having a boy.

The verdict for me: Boy

Stealing Mom’s Beauty/Pimples

What it is: Girls steal mom’s beauty, which I guess means they look fatigued and worn out, and don’t have that pregnancy glow? But I’m also rolling this in with the pimples thing, because pimples definitely steal Mom’s beauty. Especially when she looks like a meth addict because of them.

The verdict for me: Girl. Do I really need to explain?

Morning Sickness

What it is: Tons of morning sickness means girl, lack of morning sickness means boy.

The verdict for me: Boy. Boy boy boy.

Hunger

What it is: This one’s actually sort of been scientifically proven! Boy babies apparently make their mothers hungrier — according to one study, they actually consume up to ten percent more calories! “Women bearing sons consumed 8 per cent more protein, 9 per cent more carbohydrates and 11 per cent more animal fats.” Nom.

The verdict for me: Boy. First trimester = monster hunger.

Carrying High Versus Low

What it is: Apparently if the belly is high the baby’s going to be a girl. In reality, it just means mom’s abs are more toned.

The verdict for me: Girl. Slash heck yes, toned abs! (I guess…I think at this point, 22 weeks along, it’s even too early to tell.)

Carrying In Front Versus Everywhere

What it is: If all the weight is contained in a little basketball-sized lump at the front of your body, expect a boy. If you’re just sort of gaining all over, expect a girl.

The verdict for me: Boy, according to my friend. Me, I feel like I just ate a very, very large meal at a Mexican restaurant.

Sweet Versus Salty Cravings

What it is: Women carrying girls crave sweet stuff, women carrying boys crave the salty snacks.

The verdict for me: Um. I mean, I just crave delicious junky food. So I can’t really give this a rating.

Heart Rate

What it is: If baby’s heart rate is 140 or above, it’s a girl. Lower, and it’s a boy.

The verdict for me: Girl.

Moody Versus Mellow

What it is: Moody = girl, mellow = boy.

The verdict for me: Boy.

Clumsy Versus Graceful

What it is: Clumsy Mumsies can expect a boy, while Graceful Gerties can look for a girl.

The verdict for me: Girl? I mean, I am abnormally clumsy. But there were no incidents between when I found out I was pregnant and when I found out the gender, so I’ll go with girl.

Mom’s Intuition

What it is: Apparently moms are right 70% of the time when it comes to what they think they’re having.

The verdict for me: Girl, but I think that was only because of all the old wives’ tales I was doing!

Grand Total: 8 for girl, 5 for boy.

The Actual Biological Truth: Boy! At least, that’s what the ultrasounds say! So, in conclusion, don’t believe the old wives, and don’t use the last of your baking soda for a test that won’t even be accurate.

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