Our Big, Scary Day

How can you resist that little chin? In the morning, with Aunt Becca, before the ventilator was re-placed.

Today has been very hard for me to get through. Which I guess makes sense — I’ll have good days and bad days as things change with Ambrose.

I took the morning off to stay in bed and doze, which was nice, but also meant that I missed his alert period in the morning. Apparently he was wriggling all around and had his eyes open again. He was even coughing a little, which is a good sign for what’s going on with his lungs.

But then he had to go down for his MRI. We did the MRI! Still, it’s hard not to be worried for him. They had to put him back on the ventilator just for the procedure, and also had to put him under heavy sedation. So when I finally did go up and see him around 3 p.m. he was completely still again, with that ventilator back in his mouth. Poor kid. It felt like a big step in the wrong direction.

The MRI wasn’t the only thing that Ambrose had to endure today, though. He also had to get a new PICC line installed — his kept clotting up, which is no bueno. This time they installed a pediatric-sized PICC line, which means a bit more circumference and less probability of clotting.

Finally, Ambrose had to get a lumbar puncture — think epidural, but lower down with no risk of paralysis. This was to test for meningitis. It’s a routine thing on the floor, and basically tells the doctor whether he needs to keep Ambrose on antibiotics for 21 days as opposed to 7ish. It will probably come back negative. But it was just one more scary thing we had to go through today.

So the last several paragraphs have been very negative on my part, but it’s how I’ve been feeling all day long, and I want to be honest about everything, including my emotions. If you’ve read down this far, you’re in for a break. We got the preliminary MRI report. It was the best report we could have possibly received — zero abnormalities.

We are rejoicing at the news, but! It’s important to keep a few things in mind. We’re not quite out of the woods yet. The results still need to be interpreted by the neurologist, who will consider everything in conjunction with the abnormal EEG and how he’s been doing since he arrived.

But your prayers have been working. Ambrose is doing as well as we could have asked for. He’s a sweetie, and it’s so hard for me to leave him every night. I know my guy is a fighter; this just seems to prove that.

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31 thoughts on “Our Big, Scary Day”

  1. Prayed for Ambrose today and that the MRI would come back positive! God is good even in the midst of continued struggles. I will continue to pray for his complete healing!

  2. Emily, We love and care very much for you, Jared and now Ambrose! Know we are continually praying for you all. Thank you so much for your updates!

  3. I am grateful that those with a better connection than mine are praying so steadfastly, I admit to praying when i see these updates and hope that Our God hears my prayers and their sincerity for a miraculous outcome to this crisis, and a long healthy life for Ambrose and all that love him.

  4. Well, it sounds like Ambrose and our dear heavenly Father are working together…prayers to our God for everyone’s strength and for Ambrose to keep chugging along…steady and sure….

  5. Miracles happen everyday!! Thrilled to hear his (wonderful) tentative MRI results! Ambrose surpassed a long term brain abnormality, hoping it’s all up from here. Hang in there, Emily. You’re doing great.

  6. Many scary things! Probably much scarier for you as a parent than him! But what wonderful news in the MRI! Much love to you all as you move into the next day.

  7. You are all in my heart and on my mind…a fellow waterbirth midwife (since 1980) I know it was the incredible hands of knowingness which brought your lil one through.
    Blessings all on your many scary days to come.

  8. Been praying for you all . Lord I ask you give Emily & Andrew strength for each day . Lord help them feel your love & peace surround them!!! Lord I ask you continue to heal there little bundle of Joy!!! ❤️

  9. Praise God for the great report!! I’ve added him to several praying people and my church. I know he’s in the hearts and prayers of many!!

  10. Prayers continue Emily for your precious baby. I love reading your blog. Thanks for the sharing, as I’m sure it’s healing for you to write and also reflect on your feelings. ❤

  11. So glad to hear a bit of really hopeful news! Hopefully just the first of more to come after such a scary day… Oh, but how it does seem darkest before the dawn! ❤ hang in there, mama

  12. So happy your little Ambrose and his improved health. God has a wonderful plan for Ambrose and you and J will be wonderful parents.

  13. Emily that is wonderful news after a long, hard day. Thank you for sharing with all of us, and being honest. It’s been beyond challenging, you’re allowed to feel it all. We are cheering you on, saying prayers, and holding your hand virtually. ❤

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